India - a world of contradictions

I'm full of contradictions - I know it! I like to travel to discover new places, but really there's no place like home. I love to wonder and enter my own world but I love to be surrounded by people and entertain. I'd like to make a simple life but I make it more complex. I like to get up early but I love my bed! 

So really India should have felt like home - instead it mirrored the realities of my own contradictions and the challenges they bring.

Poor - rich

India is one of the BRIC countries, growing faster than most with huge investment. New areas of cities are owned by the rich ad powerful building huge complexes. The middle class enjoys Shopping Malls, cinemas and international cuisine. Side by side leaving among the poor, manual laborers, homeless, people living in shantytowns; One earning a couple of dollars an hour, another struggling to earn that in a day - let alone the mega wealthy.

 

Apparent in every part of the world, but here it's even evident in the social classes and interaction between these groups. It accentuates the split, the gap and the distance that is seen at home - it makes you shudder. Not even the homeless have access to clean water or toilets. 

Trust 

Trust is misplaced here. Someone you know talks of trust, and someone you meet on the street talks of trust. The word is miss-used and potentially misunderstood – especially for a British traveler. It is thrown around like it’s a commodity, and it does soon become a monetary factor. Trust is rarely used in Britain, it’s a term that’s implied by conclusion not as a matter of fact.

Money

It makes the world go round. But in India it is a factor that’s essential but loses it’s value with every word you utter. Haggling is the norm, and frustration becomes the cause. The contradiction is – you can buy products cheaper in the UK than you can in India if your haggling skills are not up to scratch. I can assure you that many items I bought could have been purchased at the same or less than in the UK, especially small trinkets like magnets, postcards and posters.

Transport

The world is your oyster in India, you can take a train, a car, a taxi, a helicopter taxi, an auto-rickshaw or a poor man can pull you along like you are the cart and he is the horse. But you get nowhere fast. You spend more time negotiating the fare for the journey than you do actually travelling.

Food

India is renowned for its food, either you will end up with Delhi Belly/Kolkata Splutter or you will dine in the finest of restaurants (actually even then there’s no guarantee) but try actually spotting restaurants, or at least somewhere you’re will to allow your stomach to be abused by. Unfortuantely I found I was eating the same thing day in day out, and only if I had travelled with someone else could I have had diversity!

 

These are just a few areas I can refer to – but it gives you an idea of the epic differences between Europe and India.

Enjoy your trip as best as possible. But I can certainly say, India is interesting, even if it is not my cup of Green Tea!

Judging India in Jaipur

It's to the north west of the country, in Rajasthan, Jaipur is the capital - a large city. Rajasthan was the last state to agree to be part of India.

 

It is the land of kings. It's part of the desert, and this wealthy part of India delivers one final resounding cultural insight to the country for my trip here. As I head from Delhi on a local bus that takes 6 hours stopping at every town along that way I see the change from central India to Rajasthan. More fields of corn, yellow fields being harvested by women in incredibly bright saris of multiple colours, carrying towers of gatherings a-top their heads. A few horse and cart help transport the harvest and then there’s the rare tractor. I've been transported back in time.

A highway is being built between Delhi and Jaipur, slicing through the middle of towns, cutting buildings in half as locals continue to try to operate businesses and homes that have been part-demolished. Pavements are made of the demolished rubble as kids and shoppers clamber their way along the road. The bus jaunts over and aside large potholes - it's a construction site on a massive scale.

I arrive in Jaipur and the atmosphere is instantly different to Delhi, the architecture more unique and original, it feels like there is a real heritage here that belongs to Rajasthan, my hotel - Umaid Bhawan Heritage Hotel - reflects the style of palaces in the region: it's ornate, slightly extravagant, visually rich.

The Pink City: painted to hide the cheap materials used to construct the inner walls. The heat of the day sets in early as I walk to the palace. The streets are lined with food markets that open early, and local shops begin to set up for the day. I stop at a temple and enter a conversation with the man on the door.

He asks me about Britain, I ask him about Jaipur, we exchange stories. Things are changing fast and it's having a cultural and social impact that is challenging and full of fear and strife. The recent rape cases in India purely highlighted the huge issues the country faces. Families that killed their first born, if a girl, force the country to now pay the price. There are less females, more males and therefore not enough to go around. Men cannot find wives and this is a social situation they don't wish to face - to be an unmarryable man! If they haven't found a partner by their mid-twenties sexual rage sets in. These men are virgins, now becoming desperate like a dog on heat. Men are now paying dowries instead of the girl’s family. Men are going on search for women from the city to the depths of the countryside. And women are taking advantage of this - marrying and taking all valuables and disappearing, then remarrying.

 

If this is how it is for the straight set what about gay Indians. Where does it leave them in social acceptance? 

India is still socially conscious. You must marry someone of a similar cultural standing. Women are still second rate and money and riches still mean a lot.

As I tour the city and visit the palaces and forts surrounding Jaipur you see much of the immense wealth the state has had. The investment in huge constructions that bare the mark of quality together with technical focus like water delivery, plumbing and toilets. This made me wish I had visited the more rural and smaller cities like Udaipur and beyond - the tales travellers had told me drew my imagination to the history and richness of the region. 

I explored the forts and palaces like a kid; running up and down staircases, winding in and out of alleyways and trying to get the most from my visits - I clicked away on my Cannon trying to get used to manual photos! 

I stopped by Monkey Temple, spending nearly 3 hours just watching the monkeys jump and dive into the algae filled water holes. It was kind of magical - but these were much less hassle than the people and kids below who just continually demanded money or items to sell to me. 10 days into my trip I had enough of this. I succumbed to a life beyond lone travel - I could only wish to be with a travel companion, not just to share this moment with but to throw them into the gauntlet to deal with these tourist touts so I could just hide.

I wanted to go home now! And it was certainly time to go back to the hotel with a pit stop to buy my final goods - some silk neck scarves and a final silk bed spread. With that...I was done.

I left early on the Thursday morning, back to Kolkata. I grabbed my things and headed home - dear home...

TOP TIP – when booking a coach make sure it is authenticated. Unfortunately I was sold a fraudulent ticket and the ‘said’ coach did not turn up. Do your best to use the local Tourist Information Centres, these are commercial, so not like Europe or USA where they are run by the local government, but at least there is more guarantee for legitimacy. Trying to finally get a bus to Jaipur was hard work and I ended up on a local public bus service…it should only have taken about 3 hours without stops to any other destination.

Gay India

India is a large country, 1.2 billion people, even taking just the basic 6% that those are gay make a total of 60miillon to 120 million gay people. The culture is religiously diverse with Muslim, Christian, Sikhs, Hindu, Buddhists. It's countrymen made of a wide range of Asians from Middle East, to China to southern, influenced by colonization by British, French, Dutch and Portuguese among others. With travelers from Europe, Australia and USA - it should make it a cauldron mixed of all the best yet orthodox ways and conservatism push homosexuality under the carpet.

In 2009 the Indian government repealed the age-old British law banning homosexuality. A step in the right direction. And some citizens in larger cities try to be recognized in Mumbai, Kolkata and Delhi yet the gay culture remains discreet.

Steps to equality must start somewhere and this repeal of the gay ban is the beginning. The increasing focus on women's rights and equality is going to go hand in hand with the recognition of gay people. Eunuchs (trans-type people) are called to provide good luck at marriages but then banished at all other times to their own world on the edge of societal existence. But where does that leave the gay man and girl?

The lesbian is all but visible. While for gay men there are ways - as visitors we can see them on gay meeting applications like gaydar, grinder and most of all Planet Romeo. To insiders it is a must to be part of special invite lists for local parties - all of which happen in just the major cities and even then limited to Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and Kolkata and lucky if they occur weekly. There are also the traditional cruising grounds in existence, but where does that put homosexuality?

It's in the fringes - speaking to gay guys in Delhi they are happy that way . Using applications and cruising grounds keeps their identity safe - some say they live in Delhi because they can be who they want to be, but families and friends are still none the wiser. It simply gives them a way to practise their interests and in no way gives them the full freedoms.

I was lucky to meet Rohit who works for Pinkvibyor a gay travel agency - though from Mumbai where he says the city is vibrant with gay people and lifestyles he is still learning what life is like in Delhi. Gay nights weekly on the outskirts of Delhi - well a different town altogether - Noida - this is the safe kind of party. Its held in a bar - with a dj and alcohol. When i went - M Lounge- about 60 people were there, small number but perfectly filled the small joint. A group of cross dressers/ transsexuals danced the night away. I spoke to Melissa, dressed in a brightly colored sari, she has been living in Delhi for a year but had spent a few years in Berlin, to which she speaks enthusiastically about "Berlin it's amazing, one of the best cities on earth". Berlin is incredibly open and gay life there is one of the most equal in the world, yet she raves about Delhi.

Another meeting place is weekly in the Central Park on Connaught Place gay people meet on Sundays. The place is packed with groups of lads hanging out.

I first meet Mahindra - spends half his time between London and Delhi - he called me to join his group sat chilling out - he must have spotted my British mannerisms. I see the sparkle in the eye as he mentions his life on London and tries to convince me that Delhi is just as exciting.

I move round the park and speak to a group of lads on a bench. They enthusiastically tell me they are all bisexual - all 8 of them! I ask what life is like as a gay person and they say it is good. These men so obviously live double lives - then I discover a darker side, they're all escorts. The main speaker talks of his escort agency - Delhi Boys - which he started 2-3 years ago. It's doing well and saw an opportunity to build a business. 

According to my Delhi contact the city is rife with lads charging for their time: students with bills to pay, uneducated guys with a need to earn and then those simply finding it an easier way to earn money. They charge 1500-3000ruppees per hour barely £40. It's a living.

Even in the gay night there were plenty of escorts - many dressed in black as a signal: keen to sexually exploit themselves - make themselves available. It's hard to distinguish who they are, their English is amazing- better than many working in call centres (which is most of their occupations). So as a single gay man - how does it work?

Some talk of getting married to a woman at some point for the sake of their parents. Yet speaking to some elders during my India visit this is becoming more difficult - the recent rape cases are the result of years of neglect. Families disposing of female offspring in favour for a male heir - men out number women and therefore opportunities to marry significantly decline. Men without a women "go crazy. At the age of 24-25 years old, no woman, no sex. That's why we have so many rape cases. It's not like in Europe where sex is legal from 14-16 years old and frequently had, these men have never had it - so they have to find it.

It's a dark side to India that can only get worse. Men are hiding their sexuality, men are unable to find women. It's a vicious circle that can lead to slow progression in equality and sexual freedom.

Turn on Planet Romeo and its like a machine gun - guys are driving messages begging to meet, not to meet but to get their sexual fulfillment. If this is how the gay men feel with a sexual outlet how are the straight men going to behave?

The gap between rich and poor is growing by the day in India - and the cultural differences between cities and countryside will drive India to cultural despair. If campaigning for women's rights is tough then getting gay rights firm on the agenda is a long way off - especially if gay men are happy to let it slide and remain discreet.

See the Full Transcript of the interviews in the next blog 

http://pinkvibgyor.com/

Info@pinkvibgyor.com

Kolkata to Varanasi

The driver lugged my backpack to the entrance of Howarth train station, the entrance was bursting at the seams as travellers fought their way in and out. Stepping over bodies of people casually waiting for tickets, I made my way into the huge waiting area, groups of Indians scattered around huge mountains of luggage - announcements shrieking over the tirade of chitter-chatter of patiently waiting passengers. The time was 5.30pm, my train departed at 7.10pm, I had time to kill!

 

Taking a seat I watched couples engrossed in conversation. Mothers trying to control their children and men trying to capture the attention - and affection - of lone women travellers. My train, number 13005 arrived - it was time to board. Making my way to the platform I fought the hundredss if not thousands of other passengers trying to grab their seat. I was booked, I has a reserved space (but only at last minute having been a little unaware how much in advance you need to book trains in India – 4 weeks!!!) my second class air conditioned sleeper carriage was awaiting me on coach B1. 

India has one of the largest train networks perhaps, only second to china, originally built by the British – and by all accounts very little has been added since the Brits colonial rule. Spanning the width and breadth of the country it is one of the most efficient ways to travel - my tickets - R850 - just over £10 for a 14-hour journey. Not bad at all!

In the section where I was positioned their were six beds, I crammed my six foot frame into the Top bunk that barely fitted within the confines of the bed. I spoke to a Chinese traveler and a local Indian before falling into a deep sleep. 7am I woke. How I managed a 10 hour-kip is beyond me…especially on a train.

The train pulled into Varanasi at 9.17am - just 5minutes delayed having traveled over 500km. Well done India! (I can travel only 13 minutes, one stop in London and be over 7 minutes delayed…at least this is one habit I see the Indian’s managed to shrug off from the British – but this is my first trip afterall).

Varanasi station was bustling but much calmer than Kolkata. A tout tried to encourage me to travel by motor tuk -uk with him. You need to be careful here, they will try to take you where you don't want to go. Fortunately, I had booked the Sahi River View Guest House in advance having read praise in Lonely Planet and Tripadvisor. 

I attended the tourist information desk at the station who confirmed the hotel booking by phone for me and then arranged a tuk-tuk to take me there. R150 - sure I overpaid but at less than £2 I wasn't complaining, it turned out to be a 20minute ride through the town.

It was a hive of activity. Markets strewn across streets, cows meandering at their own free will - feeding on food & trash - dogs slept in the shade. The smells kept changing: flowers, fruit, feces, piss, herbs and spices. Rubbish sprawled the sidewalks as children made their way to school. 

So this is Varanasi? 

This is what I've read! And what's expected! Time to explore! 

Working & Visiting Kolkata

Excited about coming to Incredible India I was greeted with warmth, excitement, humility and respect - as I traveled I unearthed the tarnished India, unrelenting pestering that was beyond irritating, it felt threatening. There were times I unfelt unsafe as a lone traveler. The more welcome I received the more weary I became, I had a right too - their inquisitive approach soon turned to demands of selling to get their hands upon my white cash.

Read my blog series on my visit to the Golden Triangle in the Mid-North of India.(this is post 1)

I started my travels as a corporate executive visiting my then client for a week’s training on communications and marketing for the in-house marketing team and to develop awareness on marketing tactics for the customer service, technology teams and development units.

I have been working with Indians since 2007. There’s a big corporate cultural differences between Europe and India and over time barriers were reduced and communication became more fluid. My in-house marketing team were global in their outlook but I knew to expect something different from the 100+ strong team based in Kolkata.

My flight was easy, using Emirate Airlines – definitely one of the best airline companies I have ever flown with. Their attitude was endearing, attentive and while it wasn’t top-notch it definitely beat the European airlines on attitude.  The entertainment system is phenomenal, and transferring at Dubai airport just gives you a huge sense of the impact that this new Airport Hub has on global travel.

Landing in Kolkata the company’s driver collected me from the airport and drove me to my hotel where I would spend the week. As we departed the airport huge swabs of land had been clearly divided, as large construction was under way. It occurred to me that India was growing rapidly. (As at this time I also write on China, the similarities in construction are minimal, it’s all high-rise).

I remarked on this growth to my Indian colleagues. To me it was positive, it was the future. To them they saw it as little more than irritation that the country was still very much behind. This was my first step into India and I was expecting to see a completely different side, and certainly over 3 weeks it became much more apparent.

However, a technology firm of this nature was not entirely behind the times. It operated globally, IBM was next door, they have air-conditioning, a road network. On exploring Kolkata further it was possible to see people divided between rich and poor. This gap is expanding by the day. Poorer people treated as third-rate citizens, even those with whom they worked. It grew complex when it comes to money, cast, creed, and education. On one look at someone an Indian can tell you where someone fits on a social scale and how they should be accepted into a group.

 

The road to central Kolkata was long, as we entered the British colonial zone I could start to feel the sense of my own history. What had we as British done? Was it good? Was it bad? Had we helped bring the Indians into a global economy or had we hindered it. The British created the Rail system. Huge construction programmes were delivered for the buildings that are still standing after over 100 years, but was this really positive, or had we held the country back?

 

With a global population of over 1 billion, the Indians are still struggling to control the growth and this is obvious with the shantytowns and the split between rich and poor. It was evident here in Kolkata because I know people here, they tell me their life and their stories and I see what other people have to live for.

 

The fact there that is a huge memorial building for Queen Victoria pretty much demonstrated the power we had in the country over 100 years ago. Perhaps if we had taken India with us during that time they wouldn’t have the issues they experience today – but I guess the West wanted, and still want, cheap products.

For information on Gay Kolkata – visit my post: http://ryanchaynes.blogspot.de/2013/03/finding-gay-kolkata-india.html

Finding Gay Kolkata, India

I've not spent long enough in Kolkata to get to the heart of the gay life, nor touch the gay night life, but on initial inspection it looked sparse.

My usual connection grounds of Facebook were blank, Grindr delivered little except maybe 5 people within 100km, but while chatting I discovered that if you're going to GO GAY here in Kolkata you need to be switching on Planet Romeo, or Gay Romeo as it's otherwise known.

Download the application on your Smart Phone and within seconds it will start bleeping like it's never bleeped before.

There are no bars, you have to wait for an invite - and these events, event the locals state - are few and far between. There was one advertised on Planet Romeo itself while I was here, however I missed it due to pre-planned activity.

But a few words of advice
- Meet gay kolkata indians in a safe-space
- Most gay kolkata indians do not have their own place, so need to travel - and be discreet
- If going to a gay party, be aware, keep valuables safe as pick-pocketing is expected
- They all seem a little eager
- WiFi is HARD to come across, it's not freely available, and there are FEW WiFi networks here.

The best area will be the Salt Lake City, or in the Old Town - this is where they mostly reside.

You will also catch a lot of people from Bangladesh on these applications.

The more happening gay cities are Mumbai and Delhi...More updates to come!