India is a large country,
1.2 billion people, even taking just the basic 6% that those are gay make a
total of 60miillon to 120 million gay people. The culture is religiously
diverse with Muslim, Christian, Sikhs, Hindu, Buddhists. It's countrymen made
of a wide range of Asians from Middle East, to China to southern, influenced by
colonization by British, French, Dutch and Portuguese among others. With travelers
from Europe, Australia and USA - it should make it a cauldron mixed of all the
best yet orthodox ways and conservatism push homosexuality under the carpet.
In 2009 the Indian
government repealed the age-old British law banning homosexuality. A step in
the right direction. And some citizens in larger cities try to be recognized in
Mumbai, Kolkata and Delhi yet the gay culture remains discreet.
Steps to equality must
start somewhere and this repeal of the gay ban is the beginning. The increasing
focus on women's rights and equality is going to go hand in hand with the
recognition of gay people. Eunuchs (trans-type people) are called to provide
good luck at marriages but then banished at all other times to their own world
on the edge of societal existence. But where does that leave the gay man and
girl?
The lesbian is all but
visible. While for gay men there are ways - as visitors we can see them on gay
meeting applications like gaydar, grinder and most of all Planet Romeo. To
insiders it is a must to be part of special invite lists for local parties -
all of which happen in just the major cities and even then limited to Delhi,
Mumbai, Bangalore and Kolkata and lucky if they occur weekly. There are also
the traditional cruising grounds in existence, but where does that put
homosexuality?
It's in the fringes -
speaking to gay guys in Delhi they are happy that way . Using applications and
cruising grounds keeps their identity safe - some say they live in Delhi
because they can be who they want to be, but families and friends are still
none the wiser. It simply gives them a way to practise their interests and in
no way gives them the full freedoms.
I was lucky to meet Rohit
who works for Pinkvibyor a
gay travel agency - though from Mumbai where he says the city is vibrant with
gay people and lifestyles he is still learning what life is like in Delhi. Gay
nights weekly on the outskirts of Delhi - well a different town altogether -
Noida - this is the safe kind of party. Its held in a bar - with a dj and
alcohol. When i went - M Lounge- about 60 people were there, small number but
perfectly filled the small joint. A group of cross dressers/ transsexuals
danced the night away. I spoke to Melissa, dressed in a brightly colored sari,
she has been living in Delhi for a year but had spent a few years in Berlin, to
which she speaks enthusiastically about "Berlin it's amazing, one of the
best cities on earth". Berlin is incredibly open and gay life there is one
of the most equal in the world, yet she raves about Delhi.
Another meeting place is
weekly in the Central Park on Connaught Place gay people meet on Sundays. The
place is packed with groups of lads hanging out.
I first meet Mahindra -
spends half his time between London and Delhi - he called me to join his group
sat chilling out - he must have spotted my British mannerisms. I see the
sparkle in the eye as he mentions his life on London and tries to convince me
that Delhi is just as exciting.
I move round the park and
speak to a group of lads on a bench. They enthusiastically tell me they are all
bisexual - all 8 of them! I ask what life is like as a gay person and they say
it is good. These men so obviously live double lives - then I discover a darker
side, they're all escorts. The main speaker talks of his escort agency - Delhi
Boys - which he started 2-3 years ago. It's doing well and saw an opportunity
to build a business.
According to my Delhi
contact the city is rife with lads charging for their time: students with bills
to pay, uneducated guys with a need to earn and then those simply finding it an
easier way to earn money. They charge 1500-3000ruppees per hour barely £40.
It's a living.
Even in the gay night
there were plenty of escorts - many dressed in black as a signal: keen to
sexually exploit themselves - make themselves available. It's hard to
distinguish who they are, their English is amazing- better than many working in
call centres (which is most of their occupations). So as a single gay man - how
does it work?
Some talk of getting
married to a woman at some point for the sake of their parents. Yet speaking to
some elders during my India visit this is becoming more difficult - the recent
rape cases are the result of years of neglect. Families disposing of female
offspring in favour for a male heir - men out number women and therefore
opportunities to marry significantly decline. Men without a women "go
crazy. At the age of 24-25 years old, no woman, no sex. That's why we have so
many rape cases. It's not like in Europe where sex is legal from 14-16 years
old and frequently had, these men have never had it - so they have to find it.
It's a dark side to India
that can only get worse. Men are hiding their sexuality, men are unable to find
women. It's a vicious circle that can lead to slow progression in equality and
sexual freedom.
Turn on Planet Romeo and
its like a machine gun - guys are driving messages begging to meet, not to meet
but to get their sexual fulfillment. If this is how the gay men feel with a
sexual outlet how are the straight men going to behave?
The gap between rich and
poor is growing by the day in India - and the cultural differences between
cities and countryside will drive India to cultural despair. If campaigning for
women's rights is tough then getting gay rights firm on the agenda is a long
way off - especially if gay men are happy to let it slide and remain discreet.
See the Full Transcript of the interviews in the next blog
http://pinkvibgyor.com/
Info@pinkvibgyor.com
