Showing posts with label delhi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label delhi. Show all posts

Friday, 4 October 2013

India - a world of contradictions



I'm full of contradictions - I know it! I like to travel to discover new places, but really there's no place like home. I love to wonder and enter my own world but I love to be surrounded by people and entertain. I'd like to make a simple life but I make it more complex. I like to get up early but I love my bed! 

So really India should have felt like home - instead it mirrored the realities of my own contradictions and the challenges they bring.

Poor - rich
India is one of the BRIC countries, growing faster than most with huge investment. New areas of cities are owned by the rich ad powerful building huge complexes. The middle class enjoys Shopping Malls, cinemas and international cuisine. Side by side leaving among the poor, manual laborers, homeless, people living in shantytowns; One earning a couple of dollars an hour, another struggling to earn that in a day - let alone the mega wealthy.
 
Apparent in every part of the world, but here it's even evident in the social classes and interaction between these groups. It accentuates the split, the gap and the distance that is seen at home - it makes you shudder. Not even the homeless have access to clean water or toilets. 

Trust 
Trust is misplaced here. Someone you know talks of trust, and someone you meet on the street talks of trust. The word is miss-used and potentially misunderstood – especially for a British traveler. It is thrown around like it’s a commodity, and it does soon become a monetary factor. Trust is rarely used in Britain, it’s a term that’s implied by conclusion not as a matter of fact.

Money
It makes the world go round. But in India it is a factor that’s essential but loses it’s value with every word you utter. Haggling is the norm, and frustration becomes the cause. The contradiction is – you can buy products cheaper in the UK than you can in India if your haggling skills are not up to scratch. I can assure you that many items I bought could have been purchased at the same or less than in the UK, especially small trinkets like magnets, postcards and posters.

Transport
The world is your oyster in India, you can take a train, a car, a taxi, a helicopter taxi, an auto-rickshaw or a poor man can pull you along like you are the cart and he is the horse. But you get nowhere fast. You spend more time negotiating the fare for the journey than you do actually travelling.

Food
India is renowned for its food, either you will end up with Delhi Belly/Kolkata Splutter or you will dine in the finest of restaurants (actually even then there’s no guarantee) but try actually spotting restaurants, or at least somewhere you’re will to allow your stomach to be abused by. Unfortuantely I found I was eating the same thing day in day out, and only if I had travelled with someone else could I have had diversity!
 
These are just a few areas I can refer to – but it gives you an idea of the epic differences between Europe and India.

Enjoy your trip as best as possible. But I can certainly say, India is interesting, even if it is not my cup of Green Tea!

Thursday, 3 October 2013

Dipping the toes In Delhi

4 hours by Volvo bus and I was in Delhi ISBT bus station from Agra. My hotel a rather extravagant (for me) stylish property called Hotel Blueberry. That evening Rohit from Pink Vibgyor met me to take me around Cannaught Place and check out a popular hang out for gay people - the aptly named Bar King Street just below Cruise Bar. However it was pretty empty AND this was Friday. 

Saturday morning I hopped on the metro - opened only in 2002 and expanding fast - it's modern and well designed. Within 40 minutes I was at my first tourist sight, just 21R and no haggling with the rickshaws drivers. It was a 15-minute walk to Qatab Minar but worth it, incredible architecture that had been well preserved.

Back on the metro and up to Parliament building then to walk along Raj Ghat to India Gate. Parliament is impressively large, the walk to India Gate is reminiscent of Champs Elysées from which it was time for an easy KFC lunch at Connaught Place where I met a fellow gay traveller who was from Costa Rica - we shared stories and experiences over fried chicken legs before going our separate ways. 

For dinner I took myself to experience the Main Bazaar, a shopping street but also a tourist hub of small Indian restaurants and hotels. From here I again met Rohit to make our way to Noida for the gay party at M Lounge - the only way of finding out about gay nightlife in Delhi is to be on an invite list. It's worth contacting local guys through Planet Romeo/ Gay Romeo.  Noida is another city connected to Delhi about 45 minutes by metro from the centre. 
 
Sunday brought a slight hangover but I headed to explore the Red Fort and Old Delhi. It was hectic, hot and noisy - it became too much for me. The hassle from touts was ruining the experience and lack of visible restaurants was also making my stomach scream. So I decided to head back to Main Bazaar for food.

I took a helicopter taxi from Red Fort who agreed to a 30-minute journey to Main Bazaar with a small tour along the way, unfortunately 60 minutes later I was still sat on a bumpy road. He did though take me to a local area where they dry flowers herbs and chilies for trading - watching the local lads pull large truck loads of goods. 

Delhi shuts shop early on Sunday, so by 4.30pm many stores had closed. I was dropped at my point of request and ended in an argument with the driver for over-payment, I refused to pay much more than we agreed. We agreed 70R for 30 minutes, he quoted me 100 rupees for an hour, he tried charging 140R - the tourist police got involved listening to both sides of the story and then told the driver to move on, I too left in a hurry. It didn't feel good trying to be conned


TOP TIP - always shake and agree a deal with set parameters, but honestly I would avoid all cycle rickshaw/helicopter drivers in future.

After dinner on Main Bazaar I headed to Connaught Place to meet local Indian gay lads in thw local cruising park. I spent a few hours walking around and speaking to different groups of gay lads to find out about gay life here in Delhi. (Read my blog post – Gay Delhi) It was their weekly chance to get together and feel comfortable in public, the park was really quite busy and the lads welcoming and friendly. There were also a few groups of trans people and some openly available escorts. At the sunset the park began to empty.

Read more in my feature Gay Delhi.

Next day it was off to Jaipur.

HOTEL
Blueberry Hotel, Delhi
8/12-13, W.E.A. Abdul Aziz Road,
Near  Metro Pillar No. 92 & 93
Karol Bagh, New Delhi-110005,
Ph.: 011-42542073/74/75/76/77
28751717,28751717,28752020

Wednesday, 2 October 2013

Judging India in Jaipur

It's to the north west of the country, in Rajasthan, Jaipur is the capital - a large city. Rajasthan was the last state to agree to be part of India.
 
It is the land of kings. It's part of the desert, and this wealthy part of India delivers one final resounding cultural insight to the country for my trip here. As I head from Delhi on a local bus that takes 6 hours stopping at every town along that way I see the change from central India to Rajasthan. More fields of corn, yellow fields being harvested by women in incredibly bright saris of multiple colours, carrying towers of gatherings a-top their heads. A few horse and cart help transport the harvest and then there’s the rare tractor. I've been transported back in time.

A highway is being built between Delhi and Jaipur, slicing through the middle of towns, cutting buildings in half as locals continue to try to operate businesses and homes that have been part-demolished. Pavements are made of the demolished rubble as kids and shoppers clamber their way along the road. The bus jaunts over and aside large potholes - it's a construction site on a massive scale.

I arrive in Jaipur and the atmosphere is instantly different to Delhi, the architecture more unique and original, it feels like there is a real heritage here that belongs to Rajasthan, my hotel - Umaid Bhawan Heritage Hotel - reflects the style of palaces in the region: it's ornate, slightly extravagant, visually rich.

The Pink City: painted to hide the cheap materials used to construct the inner walls. The heat of the day sets in early as I walk to the palace. The streets are lined with food markets that open early, and local shops begin to set up for the day. I stop at a temple and enter a conversation with the man on the door.

He asks me about Britain, I ask him about Jaipur, we exchange stories. Things are changing fast and it's having a cultural and social impact that is challenging and full of fear and strife. The recent rape cases in India purely highlighted the huge issues the country faces. Families that killed their first born, if a girl, force the country to now pay the price. There are less females, more males and therefore not enough to go around. Men cannot find wives and this is a social situation they don't wish to face - to be an unmarryable man! If they haven't found a partner by their mid-twenties sexual rage sets in. These men are virgins, now becoming desperate like a dog on heat. Men are now paying dowries instead of the girl’s family. Men are going on search for women from the city to the depths of the countryside. And women are taking advantage of this - marrying and taking all valuables and disappearing, then remarrying.
 
If this is how it is for the straight set what about gay Indians. Where does it leave them in social acceptance? 

India is still socially conscious. You must marry someone of a similar cultural standing. Women are still second rate and money and riches still mean a lot.

As I tour the city and visit the palaces and forts surrounding Jaipur you see much of the immense wealth the state has had. The investment in huge constructions that bare the mark of quality together with technical focus like water delivery, plumbing and toilets. This made me wish I had visited the more rural and smaller cities like Udaipur and beyond - the tales travellers had told me drew my imagination to the history and richness of the region. 

I explored the forts and palaces like a kid; running up and down staircases, winding in and out of alleyways and trying to get the most from my visits - I clicked away on my Cannon trying to get used to manual photos! 

I stopped by Monkey Temple, spending nearly 3 hours just watching the monkeys jump and dive into the algae filled water holes. It was kind of magical - but these were much less hassle than the people and kids below who just continually demanded money or items to sell to me. 10 days into my trip I had enough of this. I succumbed to a life beyond lone travel - I could only wish to be with a travel companion, not just to share this moment with but to throw them into the gauntlet to deal with these tourist touts so I could just hide.

I wanted to go home now! And it was certainly time to go back to the hotel with a pit stop to buy my final goods - some silk neck scarves and a final silk bed spread. With that...I was done.

I left early on the Thursday morning, back to Kolkata. I grabbed my things and headed home - dear home...

TOP TIP – when booking a coach make sure it is authenticated. Unfortunately I was sold a fraudulent ticket and the ‘said’ coach did not turn up. Do your best to use the local Tourist Information Centres, these are commercial, so not like Europe or USA where they are run by the local government, but at least there is more guarantee for legitimacy. Trying to finally get a bus to Jaipur was hard work and I ended up on a local public bus service…it should only have taken about 3 hours without stops to any other destination.

Monday, 30 September 2013

Gay Safety in Gay India

British tourists need to be careful here in Delhi. What are your tips to being careful in Delhi?
1 – Enquire about the guy, what his occupational background is, if he studies or not. If he’s qualified enough he will be nice to you.
2 – Meet the guy first, you should take care of your belongings. Don’t trust the guy too much.

Be careful who you chat to

Saturday, 28 September 2013

Gay Travel - Interviews with Gay Indians in Delhi


Rohit
-       Just arrived at the party. We found out through email.
-       This is in Noida, in the far west side on the blue line.
-       Do they mostly happen here?
-       Yes, every Saturday night. In the M Lounge where we are now.
-       Its really got started loads of people here, what time does it go on until?
-       It finishes at 2am
-       And then what do they do?
-       People will walk talk and gossip after, they will have fun because it is Saturday night.


-       You’re not originally from Delhi, how long have you been here?
-       4 months
-       You discovered the gay scene already, if you’re a gay man, what do you do?
-       Come to the centre part in Connaught Place and there are gay people here  on a Sunday where you can interact. If your’e away from home and need friends, it’s a place to socialize for a bit.  Meet people and make friends. Sometimes if I want sex I go to Planet Romeo and it’s very popular here in Delhi. I meet very nice guys here, very classy.
-       You came from Bombay?
-       Yes I was in Mumbai. Mumbai being Bollywood, you get very nice, posh, fashionable guys, models, girls, nightlife is more happening here. Fashion models go here, and I partied a lot on the east side. Many international performances and music. I prefer Bombay to Delhi.
 
Melissa
-       You have spent a lot time in Berlin, Now you’re here in Delhi. What is so great about Delhi
-       Well it is very colourful. It’s the capital of India and most of the gay perople are staying Delhi. I am lving a colourful life and I am having lots of fun
-       You’re wearing a beautiful Sari
-       People are really friendly, you can wear what you want.
-       This is one of the best nights out.
-       Yes it is, people give me loads of attention.

Mahindra
-       PlanetRomeo is very popular, it’s the number one cruising app?
-       Yes it is, but this park in Delhi is much better. We just come here to hangout with all our friends and to meet people. Mostly we see a lot of the young queens around here. Some are maybe sexual discriminating but not much. We hardly speak to the strangers though, we also organize parties where we get together and invite new friends and mix.
-       You spend a lot of time in London, how do you compare to Delhi?
-       The thing is, I am in modern life. Its not easy to accept yourself you are gay. I can proudly say I am gay, and I never had a problem. And hopefully you are confident and it will not bother you. In London I can be comfortable fully gay holding hands in the street, kiss someone, and there are so many parties and bars. You can be who you like. Here I have to behave straight, I have many straight friends, we all talk about girls and things, unless someone asks me I don’t show off I am gay.
-       Do you feel it is getting easier here?
-       Yes it is improving. You see more young guys coming out, and this park. Everyone has smartphone using the gay sites, it’s easy to communicate, and therefore not afraid to look at people and talk.
-       There are many groups of guys here in this park who are probably gay?
-       For you as a foreigner, they make eye-contact and they smile, that may not mean they are gay. Just being friendly.

Bisexual - Anon
-       What Is life like?
-       I like nice guys and also honest guys.
-       Is that difficult?
-       If you have friend or contact who can introduce you.
-       How long have you been a bisexual
-       10 years
-       You’re also an escort?
-       Yea
-       And you have your own agency?
-       Yeah
-       When did you set that up?
-       Not confirmed
-       You also use Planet Romeo to meet people
-       It’s not the best place. There are so many fake people there. You can find people in Yahoo, Facebook or Skype
-       Do you have tips for foreigners meeting gay boys in Delhi?
-       Don’t trust anyone easily!

Rashid
-       What’s’ great about Delhi
-       The gay scene is very open now. We can wear as we wish, I wear clothes which I cannot do in my home town. I can meet with guys, and go anywhere and any places. Here I found myself, which I cannot do back home. I don’t want to live a dual life that I used to live in my home town, I had to pretend to be a straight guy. Here I can do what I like, which I love that.
-       Does your family know you are gay?
-       Not at all. It’s a secret I have to keep from them. Never ever can I tell them
-       In Delhi your straight friends know you are gay?
-       All my straight friends in College know I am gay. They are okay with that .
-       Do you think culture is changing with younger gay people?
-       I can’t comment on the culture. But I guess minds are changing. Gays are ok, just ok. But families and society will never accept us ever. In Delhi we are normally gay, but we can be open. But socialize we are not accepted until now and not in coming years.
-       But you can at least hangout?
-       Yes, I do always, since I have been in Delhi, I have been doing this openly.



Thursday, 26 September 2013

Gay India

India is a large country, 1.2 billion people, even taking just the basic 6% that those are gay make a total of 60miillon to 120 million gay people. The culture is religiously diverse with Muslim, Christian, Sikhs, Hindu, Buddhists. It's countrymen made of a wide range of Asians from Middle East, to China to southern, influenced by colonization by British, French, Dutch and Portuguese among others. With travelers from Europe, Australia and USA - it should make it a cauldron mixed of all the best yet orthodox ways and conservatism push homosexuality under the carpet.

In 2009 the Indian government repealed the age-old British law banning homosexuality. A step in the right direction. And some citizens in larger cities try to be recognized in Mumbai, Kolkata and Delhi yet the gay culture remains discreet.

Steps to equality must start somewhere and this repeal of the gay ban is the beginning. The increasing focus on women's rights and equality is going to go hand in hand with the recognition of gay people. Eunuchs (trans-type people) are called to provide good luck at marriages but then banished at all other times to their own world on the edge of societal existence. But where does that leave the gay man and girl?

The lesbian is all but visible. While for gay men there are ways - as visitors we can see them on gay meeting applications like gaydar, grinder and most of all Planet Romeo. To insiders it is a must to be part of special invite lists for local parties - all of which happen in just the major cities and even then limited to Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and Kolkata and lucky if they occur weekly. There are also the traditional cruising grounds in existence, but where does that put homosexuality?

It's in the fringes - speaking to gay guys in Delhi they are happy that way . Using applications and cruising grounds keeps their identity safe - some say they live in Delhi because they can be who they want to be, but families and friends are still none the wiser. It simply gives them a way to practise their interests and in no way gives them the full freedoms.

I was lucky to meet Rohit who works for Pinkvibyor a gay travel agency - though from Mumbai where he says the city is vibrant with gay people and lifestyles he is still learning what life is like in Delhi. Gay nights weekly on the outskirts of Delhi - well a different town altogether - Noida - this is the safe kind of party. Its held in a bar - with a dj and alcohol. When i went - M Lounge- about 60 people were there, small number but perfectly filled the small joint. A group of cross dressers/ transsexuals danced the night away. I spoke to Melissa, dressed in a brightly colored sari, she has been living in Delhi for a year but had spent a few years in Berlin, to which she speaks enthusiastically about "Berlin it's amazing, one of the best cities on earth". Berlin is incredibly open and gay life there is one of the most equal in the world, yet she raves about Delhi.

Another meeting place is weekly in the Central Park on Connaught Place gay people meet on Sundays. The place is packed with groups of lads hanging out.

I first meet Mahindra - spends half his time between London and Delhi - he called me to join his group sat chilling out - he must have spotted my British mannerisms. I see the sparkle in the eye as he mentions his life on London and tries to convince me that Delhi is just as exciting.

I move round the park and speak to a group of lads on a bench. They enthusiastically tell me they are all bisexual - all 8 of them! I ask what life is like as a gay person and they say it is good. These men so obviously live double lives - then I discover a darker side, they're all escorts. The main speaker talks of his escort agency - Delhi Boys - which he started 2-3 years ago. It's doing well and saw an opportunity to build a business. 

According to my Delhi contact the city is rife with lads charging for their time: students with bills to pay, uneducated guys with a need to earn and then those simply finding it an easier way to earn money. They charge 1500-3000ruppees per hour barely £40. It's a living.

Even in the gay night there were plenty of escorts - many dressed in black as a signal: keen to sexually exploit themselves - make themselves available. It's hard to distinguish who they are, their English is amazing- better than many working in call centres (which is most of their occupations). So as a single gay man - how does it work?

Some talk of getting married to a woman at some point for the sake of their parents. Yet speaking to some elders during my India visit this is becoming more difficult - the recent rape cases are the result of years of neglect. Families disposing of female offspring in favour for a male heir - men out number women and therefore opportunities to marry significantly decline. Men without a women "go crazy. At the age of 24-25 years old, no woman, no sex. That's why we have so many rape cases. It's not like in Europe where sex is legal from 14-16 years old and frequently had, these men have never had it - so they have to find it.

It's a dark side to India that can only get worse. Men are hiding their sexuality, men are unable to find women. It's a vicious circle that can lead to slow progression in equality and sexual freedom.

Turn on Planet Romeo and its like a machine gun - guys are driving messages begging to meet, not to meet but to get their sexual fulfillment. If this is how the gay men feel with a sexual outlet how are the straight men going to behave?

The gap between rich and poor is growing by the day in India - and the cultural differences between cities and countryside will drive India to cultural despair. If campaigning for women's rights is tough then getting gay rights firm on the agenda is a long way off - especially if gay men are happy to let it slide and remain discreet.

See the Full Transcript of the interviews in the next blog 


http://pinkvibgyor.com/
Info@pinkvibgyor.com