Gay Guy Goes Gay China - discovering Gay Beijing

Gay China

Gay China is much more apparent than I expected, but with an internal population of over 1 billion people it really is obvious to understand why there is a hive of homosexual activity.

I had the chance to visit three gay venues while in Beijing, I also discovered how people keep in contact. It is worth downloading and accessing a couple of social applications for China; grindr, jack’d, and WeChat. The most popular gay chat device is definitely Jack’d. These weren’t limited to access through a VPN either.

What’s important to note, is that most of the Chinese live outside the central centre to Beijing, but there are a couple of gay venues worth visiting:

Destination

7 Gongti Xi Lu

Subway - Dong SiShiTaio

Next to walkers Stadium, past Asia Hotel

Great on Friday and Saturday. It has 1 dance floor - where everyone faces the DJ booth and Pole Dance Station, very weird, and has a further 7 bars and several chill out rooms that are well air conditioned.

Check out Bear Bar - with Teddy Bears – intended for their own Chinese variety of gay men bears.

The entry is 80 RMB entry including one drink. Drinks 30 RMB for cocktail / 35 RMB for a beer (at time of print)

There were very few westerners, about 10, when I was there but the place gets packed. Destination used to be the number one club but with the opening of Funky it's not as popular but still the best by all accounts.

Mix with the locals and dance, watch the locals drink and play dice games. It is a little hard to start conversations with them but once engaged they really are quite sociable.

Destination is an excellent mixed and diverse crowd that shows the new China and not that we see in the West in gay bars.

Open until 5am

Take a taxi back to the hotel and ensure it goes by a meter. Do not take a private taxi as it will work out more expensive.

Just two roads away from the main Bar street, next to the Workers Stadium

Kai Club

3^rd Floor,Tongli Studio, Sanlitun (on the east side of the alley connecting Sanlitun Village and Opposite House), it’s just by Mohito Man (ask a backpacker and they will know this)  Take the stairway up to the entrance on the 3^rd floor. This is really a very simple bar with dance floor and DJ every night of the week. It tends to attract a slightly younger audience.

Watch the boys order huge quantities of drinks and spend hours knocking them plus shots back.

- Popular on week nights though packed at weekends and overspills to straight bars

- Vodka red bull 10rmb though don't expect high quality drinks

- Gets reasonably busy post 11.30pm

- Good pop and dance music

- Smokey bar

- Largely a young crowd of 20 - 30 year olds

Funky

Apparently opposite Destination.  Although could not find it, above Coco

6 floor, 8 Gongti Xi Lu

This I was told is one of the best to visit on a Saturday.

Mesh

The Opposite House, 1 Sanlitun Bei Rd, Sanlitun.

This is an upmarket bar in a upmarket hotel that is popular with a gay crowd on a Thursday. It is largely middle-class and tourists/ expats. The drinks are 3 – 4 times more expensive than those on a regular street bar.

Gay Guy Goes North Korea - what's gay about DPRK?

Gay Korea

North Korea is not an open country and it is impossible to fully interact with the locals, however what is interesting is that there are many gay tourists who visit the country. When I was there in my group alone there were 3 (at least :-) among 20. Tour groups often meet one another at different tourist sites and there is only 2 hotels therefore its easy to interact with other travellers. Certainly in the few days I was there I met at least 7 other gay travellers. 

So if you're looking for that unique experience in a country that seems off limits to gay, especially internally, you will be glad to know that there are ways to meet gay people easily and safely.

North Korea’s position on homosexuality is unknown, Wikipedia states:

Due to tradition in Korean culture, it is not customary for individuals of any sexual orientation to engage in public displays of affection. As a country that has embraced science and rationalism, the DPRK recognizes that many individuals are born with homosexuality as a genetic trait and treats them with due respect. Homosexuals in the DPRK have never been subject to repression, as in many capitalist regimes around the world. However, North Koreans also place a lot of emphasis on social harmony and morals. Therefore, the DPRK rejects many characteristics of the popular gay culture in the West, which many perceive to embrace consumerism, classism and promiscuity.^[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_North_Korea

GlobalGayz officials said, 'The concept of same-sex attraction hardly exists in the minds of people. Even with people who feel this attraction, there is ignorance about what it means or how it can be expressed in behavior.'  http://www.sgn.org/sgnnews39_51/page1.cfm

It's not recommended you get too close to the Korean/DPRK locals however if they choose to get close to you, that will be their choice that you will need to wait for. They are urged not to interact on that level. Certainly on two occasions homosexuality in North Korea was apparent, once when I was dancing in the park and met one guy who was incredibly enthusiastic - as my gaydar set ringing. The second was watching a close intimate bond between an American tourist and a Korean guide...

Gay Travel - Interviews with Gay Indians in Delhi

Rohit

-       Just arrived at the party. We found out through email.

-       This is in Noida, in the far west side on the blue line.

-       Do they mostly happen here?

-       Yes, every Saturday night. In the M Lounge where we are now.

-       Its really got started loads of people here, what time does it go on until?

-       It finishes at 2am

-       And then what do they do?

-       People will walk talk and gossip after, they will have fun because it is Saturday night.

-       You’re not originally from Delhi, how long have you been here?

-       4 months

-       You discovered the gay scene already, if you’re a gay man, what do you do?

-       Come to the centre part in Connaught Place and there are gay people here  on a Sunday where you can interact. If your’e away from home and need friends, it’s a place to socialize for a bit.  Meet people and make friends. Sometimes if I want sex I go to Planet Romeo and it’s very popular here in Delhi. I meet very nice guys here, very classy.

-       You came from Bombay?

-       Yes I was in Mumbai. Mumbai being Bollywood, you get very nice, posh, fashionable guys, models, girls, nightlife is more happening here. Fashion models go here, and I partied a lot on the east side. Many international performances and music. I prefer Bombay to Delhi.

 

Melissa

-       You have spent a lot time in Berlin, Now you’re here in Delhi. What is so great about Delhi

-       Well it is very colourful. It’s the capital of India and most of the gay perople are staying Delhi. I am lving a colourful life and I am having lots of fun

-       You’re wearing a beautiful Sari

-       People are really friendly, you can wear what you want.

-       This is one of the best nights out.

-       Yes it is, people give me loads of attention.

Mahindra

-       PlanetRomeo is very popular, it’s the number one cruising app?

-       Yes it is, but this park in Delhi is much better. We just come here to hangout with all our friends and to meet people. Mostly we see a lot of the young queens around here. Some are maybe sexual discriminating but not much. We hardly speak to the strangers though, we also organize parties where we get together and invite new friends and mix.

-       You spend a lot of time in London, how do you compare to Delhi?

-       The thing is, I am in modern life. Its not easy to accept yourself you are gay. I can proudly say I am gay, and I never had a problem. And hopefully you are confident and it will not bother you. In London I can be comfortable fully gay holding hands in the street, kiss someone, and there are so many parties and bars. You can be who you like. Here I have to behave straight, I have many straight friends, we all talk about girls and things, unless someone asks me I don’t show off I am gay.

-       Do you feel it is getting easier here?

-       Yes it is improving. You see more young guys coming out, and this park. Everyone has smartphone using the gay sites, it’s easy to communicate, and therefore not afraid to look at people and talk.

-       There are many groups of guys here in this park who are probably gay?

-       For you as a foreigner, they make eye-contact and they smile, that may not mean they are gay. Just being friendly.

Bisexual - Anon

-       What Is life like?

-       I like nice guys and also honest guys.

-       Is that difficult?

-       If you have friend or contact who can introduce you.

-       How long have you been a bisexual

-       10 years

-       You’re also an escort?

-       Yea

-       And you have your own agency?

-       Yeah

-       When did you set that up?

-       Not confirmed

-       You also use Planet Romeo to meet people

-       It’s not the best place. There are so many fake people there. You can find people in Yahoo, Facebook or Skype

-       Do you have tips for foreigners meeting gay boys in Delhi?

-       Don’t trust anyone easily!

Rashid

-       What’s’ great about Delhi

-       The gay scene is very open now. We can wear as we wish, I wear clothes which I cannot do in my home town. I can meet with guys, and go anywhere and any places. Here I found myself, which I cannot do back home. I don’t want to live a dual life that I used to live in my home town, I had to pretend to be a straight guy. Here I can do what I like, which I love that.

-       Does your family know you are gay?

-       Not at all. It’s a secret I have to keep from them. Never ever can I tell them

-       In Delhi your straight friends know you are gay?

-       All my straight friends in College know I am gay. They are okay with that .

-       Do you think culture is changing with younger gay people?

-       I can’t comment on the culture. But I guess minds are changing. Gays are ok, just ok. But families and society will never accept us ever. In Delhi we are normally gay, but we can be open. But socialize we are not accepted until now and not in coming years.

-       But you can at least hangout?

-       Yes, I do always, since I have been in Delhi, I have been doing this openly.

Gay India

India is a large country, 1.2 billion people, even taking just the basic 6% that those are gay make a total of 60miillon to 120 million gay people. The culture is religiously diverse with Muslim, Christian, Sikhs, Hindu, Buddhists. It's countrymen made of a wide range of Asians from Middle East, to China to southern, influenced by colonization by British, French, Dutch and Portuguese among others. With travelers from Europe, Australia and USA - it should make it a cauldron mixed of all the best yet orthodox ways and conservatism push homosexuality under the carpet.

In 2009 the Indian government repealed the age-old British law banning homosexuality. A step in the right direction. And some citizens in larger cities try to be recognized in Mumbai, Kolkata and Delhi yet the gay culture remains discreet.

Steps to equality must start somewhere and this repeal of the gay ban is the beginning. The increasing focus on women's rights and equality is going to go hand in hand with the recognition of gay people. Eunuchs (trans-type people) are called to provide good luck at marriages but then banished at all other times to their own world on the edge of societal existence. But where does that leave the gay man and girl?

The lesbian is all but visible. While for gay men there are ways - as visitors we can see them on gay meeting applications like gaydar, grinder and most of all Planet Romeo. To insiders it is a must to be part of special invite lists for local parties - all of which happen in just the major cities and even then limited to Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and Kolkata and lucky if they occur weekly. There are also the traditional cruising grounds in existence, but where does that put homosexuality?

It's in the fringes - speaking to gay guys in Delhi they are happy that way . Using applications and cruising grounds keeps their identity safe - some say they live in Delhi because they can be who they want to be, but families and friends are still none the wiser. It simply gives them a way to practise their interests and in no way gives them the full freedoms.

I was lucky to meet Rohit who works for Pinkvibyor a gay travel agency - though from Mumbai where he says the city is vibrant with gay people and lifestyles he is still learning what life is like in Delhi. Gay nights weekly on the outskirts of Delhi - well a different town altogether - Noida - this is the safe kind of party. Its held in a bar - with a dj and alcohol. When i went - M Lounge- about 60 people were there, small number but perfectly filled the small joint. A group of cross dressers/ transsexuals danced the night away. I spoke to Melissa, dressed in a brightly colored sari, she has been living in Delhi for a year but had spent a few years in Berlin, to which she speaks enthusiastically about "Berlin it's amazing, one of the best cities on earth". Berlin is incredibly open and gay life there is one of the most equal in the world, yet she raves about Delhi.

Another meeting place is weekly in the Central Park on Connaught Place gay people meet on Sundays. The place is packed with groups of lads hanging out.

I first meet Mahindra - spends half his time between London and Delhi - he called me to join his group sat chilling out - he must have spotted my British mannerisms. I see the sparkle in the eye as he mentions his life on London and tries to convince me that Delhi is just as exciting.

I move round the park and speak to a group of lads on a bench. They enthusiastically tell me they are all bisexual - all 8 of them! I ask what life is like as a gay person and they say it is good. These men so obviously live double lives - then I discover a darker side, they're all escorts. The main speaker talks of his escort agency - Delhi Boys - which he started 2-3 years ago. It's doing well and saw an opportunity to build a business. 

According to my Delhi contact the city is rife with lads charging for their time: students with bills to pay, uneducated guys with a need to earn and then those simply finding it an easier way to earn money. They charge 1500-3000ruppees per hour barely £40. It's a living.

Even in the gay night there were plenty of escorts - many dressed in black as a signal: keen to sexually exploit themselves - make themselves available. It's hard to distinguish who they are, their English is amazing- better than many working in call centres (which is most of their occupations). So as a single gay man - how does it work?

Some talk of getting married to a woman at some point for the sake of their parents. Yet speaking to some elders during my India visit this is becoming more difficult - the recent rape cases are the result of years of neglect. Families disposing of female offspring in favour for a male heir - men out number women and therefore opportunities to marry significantly decline. Men without a women "go crazy. At the age of 24-25 years old, no woman, no sex. That's why we have so many rape cases. It's not like in Europe where sex is legal from 14-16 years old and frequently had, these men have never had it - so they have to find it.

It's a dark side to India that can only get worse. Men are hiding their sexuality, men are unable to find women. It's a vicious circle that can lead to slow progression in equality and sexual freedom.

Turn on Planet Romeo and its like a machine gun - guys are driving messages begging to meet, not to meet but to get their sexual fulfillment. If this is how the gay men feel with a sexual outlet how are the straight men going to behave?

The gap between rich and poor is growing by the day in India - and the cultural differences between cities and countryside will drive India to cultural despair. If campaigning for women's rights is tough then getting gay rights firm on the agenda is a long way off - especially if gay men are happy to let it slide and remain discreet.

See the Full Transcript of the interviews in the next blog 

http://pinkvibgyor.com/

Info@pinkvibgyor.com

WTM – part one: Discovering new gay travel opportunities

World Travel Market (WTM) is always an incredibly busy and tiring week; one huge exhibition centre the size of several football pitches with over 100,000 visitors this 8 hour day across four days is an agony on the feet and demanding on the vocal cords – but all worth it.

Here you can learn everything there is about the new developments in travel – and one of my favourite areas has to be for the gay traveller. There’s a lot coming to the gay and lesbian traveller as countries and cities demand the high-earning, high-disposable income group (that is slightly a myth – but so be it).  The gay traveller is also more likely to specifically want gay bars, the gay community, gay pride events and the like – so it makes it easier to package a destination.

Those like Tel Aviv, Antwerp, Manchester, Brighton, Fort Lauderdale, Sao Paolo, Berlin and Sitges have been doing it for many years – some more mature than others; and there are those that are coming through as the next generation including Stockholm, Switzerland, Florianopolis, Buenos Aires and South Africa. What’s most interesting is how they are now marketing towards the gays, the marketing is more subtle, more personality driven and with flairs of humour – forget the old strereotypes, the travel industry recognises that flags and gorgeous men aren’t going to win them the visitors, its going to take “respect” – say CEO of OutNow Consulting, Ian Johnson.

But what a year it has been for the gay traveller with more areas of the world opening up. I little over two years India decriminalised homosexuality, Brazil recognised same-sex civil marriage and SAS airline took to the skies to grant the first same-sex marriage in mid-flight. WOW!

Every year there’s new and exciting events coming our way and all to cater to the different interests and tastes of the very diverse and varied gay and lesbian community.

In my next post – discover the new products for your travels.